Posted on May 20, 2021 in Divorce

For couples who are able to complete their divorce in a quick manner with little conflict, it is a huge accomplishment. In many cases, couples are not on the same page with one another when they begin their divorce. While it is possible to go through a divorce with a contentious spouse, it will likely take much longer than an uncontested divorce and would involve much more stress and strife than is needed. However, the majority of couples do not have a choice on whether or not they get divorced from an agreeable or combative spouse. When children are involved, especially, steps should be taken to ensure that you are reducing your divorce stress as much as possible.

How to Lower Divorce Stress

Conflict during divorce can not only provide you with undue frustration, but it can also cause long-term effects on your children. Studies have shown that children whose parents take part in divorces riddled with conflict typically face issues later in life, such as intimacy issues or even difficulty regulating their emotions. Here are a few ways you can help keep your divorce stress to a minimum:

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 Posted on May 13, 2021 in Child Custody

Not all divorces end in a peaceful manner. Sometimes the movies and television shows are accurate with their depiction of divorce and how people can act throughout the process. In some divorces, peace is simply not an option and the couple cannot even get along enough to discuss or agree on issues related to their divorce. In these highly-contested divorces, child-related issues can also be a sore subject. Many times, parents will attempt to use their children to their advantage to try to hurt the other parent. However, this can be extremely toxic and emotionally damaging to the child. Parents who cannot get along during the divorce will also not likely be able to get along after the divorce. However, when you have children together, there will always be a certain degree of communication and interaction that will be required. Co-parenting can provide many challenges for parents who do not get along with one another, but “parallel parenting” can be a helpful alternative.  

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 Posted on May 06, 2021 in Divorce

There is more than one method for getting a divorce. Traditionally, getting a divorce meant you and your spouse both needed to go out and hire attorneys, attempt to negotiate your divorce issues and then end up either settling instead or taking the case to court to have a judge decide your fate. In today’s world, alternative methods of divorce have been gaining popularity, like divorce mediation and collaborative divorce. Divorce mediation is a process that allows you and your spouse to use an arbitrator to help you make important decisions about your divorce. For many couples, mediated divorce can prove to be helpful, as it provides a variety of benefits and advantages over a traditional litigated divorce.

Advantages of Mediation

Getting a divorce is a significant and important point in your life. The decisions that you make during your divorce can be life-changing, which is why you must give your divorce the attention that it deserves and choose the best process for your family. Mediation is a good option for many couples -- and for many reasons. Some of the benefits that mediation provides include:

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 Posted on April 26, 2021 in Divorce

It is not uncommon for divorcing couples to disagree on matters that they must settle during a divorce, but when those issues involve decisions that affect their children, the matter is suddenly more serious. Studies have shown that conflict, whether during marriage or divorce, can cause harmful, long-term effects, such as low self-esteem, depression and anxiety, and even less stability in their own romantic relationships. When parents cannot come to an agreement on child-related issues during a divorce, a judge will make the determination. But a judge does not know anything about your family beyond what he or she has observed in the courtroom. To help them better understand the dynamics of the situation and make an informed decision, they may appoint a guardian ad litem (GAL) to your case.

What is a GAL?

According to Illinois laws, a guardian ad litem is an attorney who is appointed to a case to determine what is in the best interest of the child. Their job is to investigate the family situation and make reports pertaining to whatever the case’s contested issues may be, which often include the allocation of parental responsibilities, parenting time, visitation, and/or child support. Because of this, the GAL is often referred to as the “eyes and ears” of the court. 

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 Posted on April 19, 2021 in Divorce

While the overall divorce rate is decreasing in the United States, the divorce rate for adults over the age of 50 is actually still rising. According to the Pew Research Center, the divorce rate for adults 50 and older nearly doubled since the 1990s, while the divorce rate for adults 65 and older has nearly tripled in the same time period. Older adults who divorce face many different and often more difficult challenges than younger couples, which may also be why research tends to show that divorce also affects older adults more than younger adults. Going through the divorce process can be arduous at any age, but it can be especially difficult for adults who are over the age of 50. Here are a few things that may help ease the stress and strain of the divorce process when you are an older adult:

1. Remember to Take Care of Yourself

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 Posted on April 13, 2021 in Divorce

One of the most difficult decisions you may ever be faced with is determining when the time is right for a divorce. All couples go through periods of being unhappy, but when it becomes a frequent occurrence, you may begin to wonder whether or not you would be happier alone.  In most cases, there is some form of resentment during the divorce, whether it is about a specific issue, or the divorce itself. In many cases, this can lead to mistrust. Even though you are ending your relationship, there are many things that require a level of trust during a divorce, with the most important of them being the financial side of things. Is your spouse being honest and open about his or her assets? If you feel they are not being honest and you are worried about not receiving your fair share of the marital estate, the discovery process can be used to ensure that property issues are settled fairly.

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 Posted on April 05, 2021 in Divorce

Many divorced individuals reported the conversation of asking for divorce as one of the most stressful conversations they have ever had. When you ask your spouse for a divorce, you are essentially telling your spouse that you are no longer in love with them, which can be hard for anyone to hear. Breaking the news of divorce can become even more difficult if you have children. Even though a divorce is an adult problem, children are often caught in the middle of the turmoil. The initial conversation you have with your child about your divorce can set the stage for how they will cope with the divorce throughout the process. When you go to have that conversation with your child, here are a few tips to use:

Act as a United Front With Your Spouse 

Even though it may be the last thing you want to do, you and your spouse should act as a team when you have this conversation with your children. You should break the news of your divorce when both of you are together and all of your children are present. Work out and agree on what you will say beforehand so you can avoid any emotionally fueled or impulsive remarks.

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 Posted on March 29, 2021 in Child Support

Most people in today’s world would agree that raising a child is the job of both parents, rather than just one. However, when the parents are not together because of divorce or another reason, raising a child can become complicated, especially as it relates to the financial side of things. Raising a child is not cheap. According to the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA), parents spend, on average, approximately $233,610 to raise each child through age 17. Even though the living arrangements likely place the child with one parent for the majority of the time, the other parent will still be required to financially contribute to the child’s upbringing through child support payments.

Child Expenses That Should Be Included

The monthly child support payments are calculated in the same way for everyone, by using a standardized formula set forth in the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA). The formula takes into account certain factors from both parents, such as income and the amount of parenting time each parent has and produces an amount that is usually paid by the parent with the least amount of parenting time to the parent with the most parenting time. Child support is intended to be used for the majority of the child’s needs, such as food and clothing, but there are other expenses that come up that your child’s other parent is also responsible for helping with, such as the following:

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 Posted on March 22, 2021 in Divorce

There are dozens of things that you and your spouse will have to agree upon before you can finalize your divorce agreement. Some of the most contentious issues throughout many divorces are those dealing with two notorious topics -- finances and children. Things such as property division and child custody have the potential to turn a mildly agreeable divorce into one that is fueled by strong emotions, rather than reason. Even after you have come to a consensus, nothing is set in stone. Under certain circumstances, you may need to petition the court to modify your divorce agreement. One of the most common reasons for doing this is a remarriage by either spouse.

Remarriage and Child Custody

When it comes to child custody issues, such as parenting time and parental responsibilities, the remarriage of either parent can create the potential need to change the parenting time order or child support order. In nearly all cases, the child support order will likely never be terminated, but there is a possibility that the monthly amount could change. In Illinois, all child-related decisions are made using the child’s best interests. This means in a remarriage scenario, the actions taken are very situational depending on the family’s circumstances.

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 Posted on March 15, 2021 in Divorce

When it comes to choosing a process for getting a divorce, there is no one right or wrong answer for everyone. Some couples disagree on major issues such as property division and child custody so harshly that they end up stuck in hostile litigation, putting unnecessary stress on the whole family. Alternative dispute resolutions, such as mediation and collaborative law, can both provide a solution to divorce litigation and allow couples to settle their divorce outside of the courtroom. However, there are differences between the two methods. Choosing a process for getting a divorce is a very situational and personal decision that can be affected by many factors. Choosing a method that fits your family’s situation can save you a lot of stress in the long run.

Understanding Divorce Mediation

During divorce mediation, the couple works with a neutral, third-party mediator who helps them come to agreements on important topics that they disagree on. The mediator does not take the side of one spouse and does not try to influence either spouse’s decision in any way. The mediator may offer opinions and suggestions during the negotiations, but his or her main job is to act as an intermediary for the couple.

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