Recognizing and Addressing Parental Alienation

 Posted on December 29, 2024 in Child Custody

When parents divorce, life can be challenging for all those involved, particularly the children. While most parents want what is best for their children, some seem unable to resist speaking negatively about the other parent. While this is rarely productive in any way, it can be especially damaging to children. An American psychiatrist, Dr. Richard Gardner, introduced the phrase "parental alienation syndrome" in 1985, defining it as a childhood disorder arising almost exclusively during child custody disputes.

Gardner described children being "programmed" by one parent to reject, fear, dislike, or hate the other parent. Parental alienation can be obvious or more insidious, but the end result is the same – to damage the child’s relationship with the other parent. If one parent believes the other is deliberately waging a parental alienation war against them during the allocation of parental responsibilities, it is important to address it quickly before it can spiral out of control. A Will County, IL parental responsibilities attorney can help recognize and address parental alienation.

What Is Involved in Parental Alienation?

Parental alienation can cause significant harm, not only to the child but to the targeted parent, causing long-term adverse effects on a child’s emotional and mental health. Children want to love both their parents, but in instances of parental alienation, they are made to feel guilty if they do not fall in line with the parent who talks negatively about the other parent. At the same time, the child feels shame and sadness for rejecting a loved parent. The parent engaging in parental alienation may do one or more of the following:

• Make negative comments about the other parent in front of the child.
• Provide false information about the other parent to the child.
•  Refuse to allow the child to express love for the other parent.
•  Interfere with communication between the child and the other parent.
• Withhold access to the child from the other parent.
•  Fail to inform the other parent of important educational and medical information.

How Do You Recognize Parental Alienation?

The first sign of parental alienation that is often seen is when a child expresses intense hatred or dislike toward one parent for no legitimate reason. The child may begin refusing to spend time with the alienated parent, even refusing to take phone calls or answer texts or emails from the parent.

Upon examination, the child’s beliefs are clearly delusional, often irrational, and it becomes clear the child is "parroting" what the alienating parent tells him or her. When parental alienation is present, the child and the alienating parent are in "lockstep" in the efforts to denigrate the targeted parent.  

How is Parental Alienation Addressed?

A parent who suspects parental alienation should keep a comprehensive record of negative comments or instances where visitation is withheld or interfered with. Addressing the child’s behaviors directly with the other parent should probably be the next step, but a parent engaging in parental alienation is unlikely to admit or even recognize his or her own behavior.

Professional help should be sought from a family law attorney with experience in parental alienation and a family therapist who can provide guidance and support. If nothing changes, court intervention may be necessary. An attorney can file a motion to modify parental responsibilities and parenting time and seek legal remedies to address parental alienation. In some cases, the alienating parent may be sanctioned by the court.

Contact a DuPage County, IL Family Lawyer

Parental alienation is considered a form of child abuse and should not be left unchecked. When you have a strong Naperville, IL parental responsibilities attorney as your advocate throughout the process, you are likely to have a much better outcome. Attorney Hendrix is a court-appointed mediator who holds a master’s degree in guidance and counseling in addition to his law degree. Contact Law Office of Ronald L. Hendrix, P.C. at 630-355-7776 to schedule your free consultation.