Preparing for Divorce With a High-Conflict Spouse in Illinois

 Posted on September 30, 2020 in Complex Divorce

Even in the simplest of cases, divorce is an extremely complex and demanding process, in both the legal and emotional sense. Though it is uncommon, it is not impossible for a couple to be in agreement when making the decision to get a divorce. In many circumstances, one spouse comes to that decision and must break the news to the other spouse, who may or may not react rationally. Sometimes, a spouse’s reaction to this type of news can be hypothesized, but other times the emotional distress causes the unknowing spouse to act in a manner that is completely out of character. When a spouse reacts negatively and severely to the news of the divorce, it can cause stress throughout the household, even for the children. High-conflict divorces can be chaotic and drawn out, which is why hiring an experienced divorce attorney is important.

Identifying a Contentious Spouse

If you have made the decision to get a divorce, you usually already have some sort of idea of whether or not your spouse is going to be combative throughout the process. This is because the people who usually put up the most fight during a divorce are also the people who usually exhibit traits of a high-conflict personality. Common personality traits and behaviors of high-conflict people include:

• All-or-nothing thinking

• An inability or unwillingness to accept reality

• An inability to control their emotions

• Constantly placing blame on others and never themselves

• Using verbal, physical, or another form of personal attack to place that blame

Tips to Prevent Conflict

When it comes to divorce with a high-conflict spouse, there is a lot working against you to maintain a peaceful divorce. It is not impossible, however, to navigate divorce with minimal conflict. There are certain things that you can do to reduce the likeliness that conflict will occur during your divorce, which include:

• Minimizing contact with your spouse. This can be done by limiting the ways your spouse can communicate with you, such as limiting contact to email or texts only. This not only helps you keep control over your life, but it also helps ensure you have time to compose a thoughtful response to messages.

• Focusing on the issues at hand. It can be easy to fall into the trap of hashing out old issues, but that is not what a divorce is about. When you are going through a divorce, you should be focused on finding solutions to the issues you are dealing with now.

• Being ready to negotiate. Your high-conflict spouse is likely not going to want to make any concessions at all. He or she often believes that he or she is entitled to everything that he or she asks for, resulting in a force to be reckoned with if he or she does not get it. Know what is worth fighting for and what you are willing to let go before you start getting into battles with your spouse. 

Contact a Bolingbrook High-Conflict Divorce Lawyer Today

If you have reason to believe your spouse may be combative during your Illinois divorce or you have been experiencing high levels of conflict with your spouse upon filing for divorce, you need help from a skilled DuPage County high-conflict divorce attorney. At the Law Office of Ronald L. Hendrix, P.C., we understand the issues involved in high-conflict divorces and can help you advocate for your rights in all aspects of your divorce. To schedule a free consultation, call our office today at 630-355-7776.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201605/13-essential-tips-if-you-are-divorcing-narcissist

https://thriveglobal.com/stories/the-patterns-of-high-conflict-people/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/5-types-people-who-can-ruin-your-life/201911/keep-the-conflict-small-4-tips-avoid-high-conflict