How One Five-Letter Word Can Hurt Your Children After Divorce | IL

 Posted on September 20,2024 in Child Custody

Most of us have a word – or several – that makes us cringe every time we hear it. But you may have never really thought about the word that can make your divorce and your children’s transition to divorce much harder than it needs to be. What is that word? "Visit." As in, "You are going to visit your father this weekend." Or "When you visit me, I want you to go to bed at 9:00."

Why should this word be erased from your language where your children are concerned? Most of us think of "visit" in terms of friends coming over to visit or Great Aunt Alice coming from Phoenix to visit. The term "visit" or "visitation" rarely extends to children and parents because they are not "visitors" in one another’s lives; they are family. Now more than ever, your children need to hang on to the connectedness they had with each parent before the divorce.

Perhaps this is why the state changed the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act in 2016, erasing the words "custody" and "visitation" from the statutes and changing them to "allocation of parental responsibilities." You may be surprised to find that your Naperville, IL lawyer has the compassion and resources necessary to help you and your children move forward in the best way possible. This can include getting rid of old words and using words with more positive connotations.

What Changes Were Made to IL Family Law Language?

Prior to the changes, custody laws in Illinois were divided into joint custody and sole custody, which could refer to actual physical or legal custody. The designation depended on whether one parent would be making major decisions about his or her child’s life or whether the parents would be making joint decisions. It also included which parent the children would primarily reside with and which would have visitation time. "Custody" and "visitation" were changed to "parental responsibilities" and "parenting time," while decision-making authority was decided under the "allocation of parental responsibilities." 

Although the language changed to better reflect that both parties were still parents, the best interests of the child doctrine did not change. Judges will determine parental responsibilities and parenting time based only on the best interests of the child. Joint decision-making does not necessarily imply equal parenting time, but the parent whose residence has not been designated as the child’s primary residence is entitled to reasonable parenting time.

What is a Parenting Plan, and Why Do I Need One?

A parenting plan is necessary for allocating parental responsibilities. The plan details the time the child will spend with each parent, when those times will be, and how drop-offs and pick-ups will occur. A well-crafted parenting plan will address any potential situation that may arise now or in the future while allowing both parents to remain involved in their child’s life.

While parenting plans set forth a schedule, they must also be flexible. Children grow and change, and their needs will change as well. Parenting plans will address holidays, summer breaks, birthdays, and other special occasions, as well as education and extracurricular activities. Parenting plans are generally court-ordered, but either parent can ask for a modification of a parenting plan when circumstances warrant.   

Contact a Will County, IL Allocation of Parental Responsibilities Lawyer

If you would never want to be a visitor in your child’s life, neither should you want him or her to be a visitor in your life. While they are just words, "visit" and "visitor" can undermine your child’s sense of trust and belonging. So erase those words from your vocabulary and remember that a divorce ends a marriage, not a family.

When you have a trusted Naperville, IL, allocation of parental responsibilities attorney by your side, the process is simply easier and less stressful. Attorney Ronald L. Hendrix is a court-appointed mediator who, in addition to his law degree, holds a master’s degree in guidance and counseling. Contact the Law Office of Ronald L. Hendrix, P.C. at 630-355-7776 to schedule your free consultation.