How Do I Tell My Children About My Divorce?

 Posted on April 05, 2021 in Divorce

Many divorced individuals reported the conversation of asking for divorce as one of the most stressful conversations they have ever had. When you ask your spouse for a divorce, you are essentially telling your spouse that you are no longer in love with them, which can be hard for anyone to hear. Breaking the news of divorce can become even more difficult if you have children. Even though a divorce is an adult problem, children are often caught in the middle of the turmoil. The initial conversation you have with your child about your divorce can set the stage for how they will cope with the divorce throughout the process. When you go to have that conversation with your child, here are a few tips to use:

Act as a United Front With Your Spouse 

Even though it may be the last thing you want to do, you and your spouse should act as a team when you have this conversation with your children. You should break the news of your divorce when both of you are together and all of your children are present. Work out and agree on what you will say beforehand so you can avoid any emotionally fueled or impulsive remarks.

Explain the Situation to Your Children in Words They Understand

Your child will want to know why you are getting a divorce, and it is your job as a parent to explain it to them in a way that they will comprehend. As an adult, you understand the complexities surrounding the divorce, but your child(ren) will not and will question why mom and dad do not love each other anymore. The information that you tell your child will depend on their age and ability to understand. Obviously, younger children will suffice with simpler information, while older children will naturally want to know more.

Give Your Children Plenty of Reassurance

When children are faced with a parent’s decision to divorce, they will often blame themselves or believe that they somehow had a role in this decision. Reassure them that this is not true. It is imperative they know and believe that there was nothing they could have done to cause or prevent this from happening. Let them know that there will be many changes, including living arrangements, but one thing will always remain the same, and that is your love for them. 

Our Wheaton, IL Divorce Attorney is Here to Help

Getting a divorce is difficult for many reasons, especially when there are children involved. Having the conversation with your children that you are getting a divorce is not an easy one, but it is a conversation that is necessary and must be had. At the Law Office of Ronald L. Hendrix, P.C., our team of lawyers has more than 35 years of combined legal experience and we will put that experience to use for you. To schedule a free consultation with one of our DuPage County divorce lawyers, call our office today at 630-355-7776.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/better-divorce/202002/how-tell-your-kids-you-re-getting-separation-or-divorce

https://childmind.org/ask-an-expert-qa/when-should-we-tell-our-kids-that-were-getting-a-divorce/

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Building-Resilience/Pages/How-to-Talk-to-Your-Children-about-Divorce.aspx